6.30.10 Miss Maya made it to town!

6.29.10 (B) KS and I are doing a fundraiser for Before I die I want to... . We are selling the best totes ever (pictured above) for $20. Get a blank one and fill in your life dream: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1777997212/before-i-die-i-want-to-website-and-mobile-app?pos=1

6.29.10 (A) Only in NYC do you find treasures on the street like this!
How could someone throw this away??
Not too bad of a combo with my dress either.

6.28.10 Jim and I had the most amazing night in Central Park tonight. There is no such thing as "time" when we are together.
I thought of walking through the UWS or Central Park one day far in the future when he is no longer there and it brought tears to my eyes. It was good practice in the catching of tears for next year's project, www.thescienceofsadness.com. I'm pretty consistently thinking of permanence and impermanence.

6.27.10 It's a laundry day. All the delicates get hung up to dry.

6.26.10 I love my straight girlfriend. In my post-surgery sunglass-clad state, she treated me to gelato and a laugh.

6.25.10 Every hour new drops.
Nurse Jim was an incredible caretaker.

6.24.10 My eyeballs were revised to be 20/20 today!

6.23.10 Jim + I went to meet Ann, my step-momma, at Irene Hardwicke Olivieri's gallery show.
She's incredibly talented and I love the detail and writing she puts in her work. Check her out: www.irenehardwickeolivieri.com.

6.22.10 I'm considering doing a 365 project for the entire year I'm 30-years-old called "The Science of Sadness." and I've registered www.thescienceofsadness.com. I would keep a vile around my neck and collect my tears whenever I am moved to tears. Then journal about what moved me to tears. It would be an interesting way to look back at the year. I have no idea how much I cry. I haven't cried in a while. I thought of this project a year ago when I was going through a break-up, so there were more tears then. The unfortunate thing is I'd be taken out of the moment each time I cry .... "Wait, got to catch my tears." But then again, i already take myself out of the moment a bit with the camera this year to capture the moment. It's the nature of the beast.

6.21.10 Lilli and I met Stacy, the social media manager for Before I die I want to..., at the schmancy "standard" hotel... which was anything but standard.

6.20.10 Ella heading up to Riverside park on her new bicycle. I was able to get on an earlier flight so I could travel with my cuz and make it home in time to spend the evening with Jimmy and Ella. Happy father's day.

6.19.10 (B) Ann and I treated ourselves to pedictures. It bothered me this little girl was already getting them. Wouldn't she be happier getting her nails dirty out on the playground? It was a bit of an internal struggle for me asking her and her momma to take her pictures when I knew I had some judgements inside.

6.19.10 (A) Towards the end of the wedding at the Rock-n-roll hall of fame, I took pictures of Jerry Garcia's guitars for Jimmy... soon there-after, went to the hotel... looked at my iPhone.. and saw that Jimmy had (unbeknownst) sent me a long email about Jerry (his kindered spirit) along with a youtube link. I guess some programming happened to be on TV back in the big apple. So I send thim the serindipidous guitars. I thought I had better send him a photo of me watching Jerry.

6.18.10 Today, Becca, the baby of the family just before me, became Mrs. Szanyi.
I struggle with weddings. I love how it brings family together but the love between two people is there already, so really what does it do? It for sure doesn't solidfy forever. Overall, it feels like clothes that don't fit me. And at 29, these clothes keep surrounding me. I can look back at the weekend... and it was great to see family but then I remember I was so happy to be alone at the end of the day. The wedding was at the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame and I escaped into an empty theatre to watch a video on rock stars. It talked about how everyone (Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, Jim Morrison, etc. etc.) were all outsiders. Janis said she was laughed out of her school and out of her city and out of her state. One of the greats (although my memory fails me on which one) said "I'm outside of society. I'm an artist. and Rock-n-Roll is my art." I'm not a rockstar, but in that dark empty theatre as the "normal" people danced to the electric slide outside, I felt a strong bond with those outsider rockstars. It made me feel so peaceful and not alone.

6.17.10 Heather hung with me as I packed for Becca's wedding in Cleveland. Mr. Mom somehow found his way in my suitcase.

6.16.10 How do you say INCREDIBLE in chinese?! Jim and I had another lovely spontaneous evening tonight. Our batting average is maybe 800 or 900. We got the best foot massages in the world and then pretty darn good vegetarian dim sum.

6.15.10 This man meditating near the bike trail is so peaceful and still he cuts through everything.
People (including me) literally stop in their tracks to look at him.

6.14.10 If I die tomorrow, today I'll take that brownstone in Brooklyn and the throng of kids with you...

6.13.10 I started off this weekend on a mental downward spiral that I was sure would kill us. I haven't felt like that since this weekend of last year (odd). But the weekend turned out to be beautiful. Rumi said to open your arms and welcome it all. And, I think he's right. I caught myself being so grateful for the "bad" so I could appreciate the "good" - it's actually all the same.

6.12.10 (C) This feels like a really old photo. The kind kids would find and say "Mommy looks pretty but look at daddy! He looks like Bozo :)"
I love it anyway.

6.12.10 (B) Jim spent the weekend in Brooklyn and our "do nothing" weekend was was beautiful. Life just took us places including to prospect park with ks. Boyfriend + sis = heaven. (Worlds coming together so nicely again). We did some "reporting" with the ancient Polaroid "Reporter" camera.

6.12.10 (A) I decided his eyes look like those painted fresco tops of duomos. There is some blue in there in the middle for the sky - and then the brown is the angels at fly softly and gracefully upwards. Then the opening of the duomos is black (his pupil) so it must be the middle of the night..

6.11.10 (D) Straight girlfrined meets boyfriend in an impromptu dinner party. Heaven. I love my worlds coming together.

6.11.10 (C) I kinda like the writing on the walls.
Oh, I also like how Jim + I often text each other photos.

6.11.10 (A) More culinary adventures. The very first time I came to NYC (in 2000?), I came here with dad and his girlfriend at the time, Nancy. I used to call her Nancy Schmancy. I really made her wrong for a lot fo things, and I am sorry, now, that I did that. Not forgiving her only karmically comes back to hurt me. We both loved John Lennon's Imagine - we are one.

6.10.10 (B) We exchanged house keys... dropped L-bombs.. and I made him a mix. I think it's love :).

6.10.10 (A) Working in a slightly different hood (east soho vs. west soho) affords me different culintary options for lunch - and it's SO exciting! I'm on a culinary adventure every day circa 12:30pm. Had the most incredible sandwich here. It stayed with me in my mind for a day or so.

6.9.10 Colombe Espresso Bar - my new watering hole for two weeks while I'm wokring at Starfish. I so look forward to my iced coffee with half and half every morning. I have a hunch it dehidrates me and makes my face break out... so I'm considering giving it up for a month and have green tea with soy milk instead. Can I do it?.

6.8.10 Joy Vey - I like lox + I'm dating a Jewish boy.

6.7.10 Blue bike. Brick Wall. Soho.

6.6.10 Today I had brunch with Jim, Jim's dad, and Jim's daughter, Ella. It was my first time meeting his dad, and my first time spending time with Ella. I've never dated someone with a kid before. I love that she said, "OMG Daddy's girlfriend is in her twenties." Here is a photo she took with my iPhone.

6.5.10 Bratley and I went and got a Rollo together today so she could test it out for her wedding day. I think she should just keep the rollers in her hair for the big day.

6.4.10 Today I walked out of work and was free as a bird - thought "What do I want to do with my Friday night?" and I hear "Nicole Kenney!" Tarrah happened to be in town and saw me on the street. She was my friend from Notre Dame when she was a grad student in photo and I was an undergrad in the art department. So, I crashed a dinner with her and her roommate, Nancy, and Nancy's ex-boyfriend. It was a charming, most random evening.

6.3.10 This is the 3rd photo with a guitar in a row and probably the most false advertising ever. I'm trying to learn the guitar and its not going anywhere fast. Tim and I spent our lunch in the Carmine Street guitar shop. At this pace, I can play a 3-chord song by the time I'm 99.

6.2.10 Back in NYC—it's Wednesday night rehearsal as usual.

6.1.10 Ian Schumacher, my very first kiss. (Although tonight he assured me he was many a' girls' first kiss.) This moment reminds me of going to Woodward Academy to watch him perform in a play when I was maybe 13-years-old and him looking straight at me from stage and smiling big.
221: everything is in its right place.